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Thelexmachine's Bio and Free Webcam

Real Name:
Birth Date:
May 23, 1981
Interested In:
Men, Women, Trans, Couples
Nerdworld, EST - US
Last Broadcast:
15 hours, 23 minutes
English-progressive 1st world, un petit peu Français, body/nonverbal, gibberish, troll, one-handed type and autocorrect
Body Type:
body positive
Smoke / Drink:
Dig stoners. Not a fan of cigarettes or alcohol.
Body Decorations:
3 small tats I'd love covered, tiny gauged ears, rainbow hair
Pics & Videos:
About Me:

xx Please take me to see the Gorillaz! xx
If you really want to hang out, this is your #1 opportuinity for some genuine downtime with me. Obviously intimacy is not something i can garauntee. I can't even be in the mood 100% of my time here, but I can't make it on my own right now.

xx Festival/Nude/Art CAMPING - Let's go. Cover travel and/or ticket. Email me the summer plans I'm invited to. xx

XXX My new roommate is still planning to cam FOLLOW hanging out together! XXX

I'm a nerdy, pervy, sapiosexual, polyamorous, hypersexual, ethically slutty, disabled qweirdo and I loooooooove being naked with you.

I have multiple lovers and partners throughout the US, in London, and Amsterdam now. Some I speak to occasionally, some nearly every day, others I see periodically. You know, like friends, that I also fuck.
While I am always looking for queer, disabled, trans, couples, or bi/pansexuals that just want to make porn to work and play with, I'm being much more guarded with my self and time than has been typical of my slutty self in the past. I'm frankly just too busy not dying to fuck anyone not interested in making loving artporn. What time I have left is too short now for me to continue seeing/pleasuring/dating single straight men IRL, but I do so love jerkin it with you!

Before joining CB I had tried [and failed] at camming at the dawn of the millennium, I genuinely wish this place had existed then. Let's wax nostalgic about the 90s internet. BBS and html chats you had to refresh manually, anyone? 

Anyway, I've completed one orbit around our nearest star since I joined you all here and I almost can't believe I'm still loving it.

I have several medical diagnoses which I will sometimes discuss and am on the autism spectrum. My stimming behaviors from when I was bitty are part of my health problems today. If I have a bunch of bruises, it's because I run into things and bruise easily, doesn't happen as frequently when I can eat properly. Poor proprioception FTW! I hula hoop/dance for exercise and better balance. I used to be much chubbier so thank you for being kind. Yes I will hoop on cam when I have enough space and I love to dance anytime I have enough spoons.

FAHQ [frequently asked hot questions]

  1. I haven't worn a bra daily since 2015 thanks to this rib injury. Very occasionally I'll wear a sports bra.

  2. My shoes are a US 8, but unless you're buying me some, I don't get the obsession with stats.

  3. The total number of people I've pleasured in person is somewhere in the very low triple digits.

  4. I am not married. Not likely to be.

  5. I do not have kids and never will.

  6. I do have multiple loving relationships with consenting open adults. They are as unique and important as any close friendship just with extra rubbins.
    Several of my mods are partners IRL and I am actively looking for couples and queers that are excited to get in front of a cam with me. I am only interested in meeting you in person if you are an already working adult performers, photographers, etc to collaborate with.

  7. I have a few semesters of college [photography and welding being my favorite classes] but no degrees. I have instead worked over 25 shitty entry level jobs between breakdowns and bouts of chronic illness, in attempts to prove that I am not lazy or above demeaning work.
    CB is far more my speed I guess. 

  8. I was inappropriately sexualized as well as exposed to a lot of really quality erotic art at a very early age. Curse, blessing, here we are.

  9. My first sexual experience was with a girl and I have had several female partners. The majority of them though have been with varying types of guys. I like much more than either girls or guys.

  10. My music tastes are pretty broad but I especially love anything you can dance or hump to.

  11. My mental erogenous zones are sex obviously, space and time, the brain, 90s comics (anyone at WW Chicago '98-'00? My lil sketch collection is pretty dope, tbh), illustration, photography, most discussions of art, philosophy, and all kinds of terribly geeky crap.

  12. I like all the adult genitals. Really. Just has to be connected to a stellar brain and I'm probably game. These days, I'm really only looking to further my experience with (DTF) couples, groups and ladies or butts (of whatever sex) preferably on cam/film.

  13. My bush has been this way for a decade and a half. Yes, it's been bald, yes, I could do other things with it, but it's my bush love it, like it, deal or GTFO. I'll continue to shave and trim the way I like. I'll dye the bush a fun color on cam at 50k followers.

  14. My hair and nails are one of the oldest parts of my self care routine, again, I'm set in my ways here, make suggestions at your own peril. I almost never wear make-up, and once again that's my prerogative.
  16. My favorite position depends on the person, it's all relative to body shape and fucking ability or style.


Learning gives me a boner. I frequently watch Ted talks or uni lectures while I jerk more often than traditional porn.
I do love to watch cams, 99tk or check the hashtags for #watchu or #freeC2C #C2Cfree to know when i'm watching a group free for my own entertainment.

I have a preference for big brains and weird or unique bodies (if they have or would have made fun of you at school for it, it prob makes you hot to me) a bit more than stereo-typically pretty ones, I guess I have a kink for weirdos and underdogs, go fig.
I have a single true fetish and that is audio/aural. To get off I have to hear my partners moan, groan, grunt, and gasp with obvious pleasure.
I orgasm once a day minimum, if you catch it here, it's genuine. Like real world sex, I'm here to get off with you, not for you so this room is a bit different than most. Lurking helps, but don't be afraid to say hi!


Wish List:

For you to follow me if you like anything you see here.

PRETTY PLEASE for the love of all that is buttholy, Help me renew my pandora subscription.for my April camiversary/May birthday.
https://www.payp* andora.html
lexpletive at gmail
replace the asterisk in the link with the appropriate vowel. obvs.

We got really close to 50k followers within my first year. <3 you all so much. We're still dying the bush when we get there.

Aiming for a small studio space with high ceilings and fast net access, on a private island with nothing but libraries full of comics. Or a van down by the river. Until then...

1001 tk single tip
HIGHEST TIP in 2016: 1000
10,000 tk single tip
MOST TIPS overall from a single tipper: 9591
And keeping my 25tk thumbs up score over 200. Over 300 would be a record.

Help me buy boring essentials with ANY gift cards to lexpletive gmail

or spoil me with level ups

I love to travel as much as possible to be with my partners all over the world now, and occasionally new friends.
Donate to my travel fund to make even one of these things happen.
Invite me somewhere I couldn't otherwise go.

Photographers, videographers, MUAs, Illustrators, other broadcasters, I wanna have your art babies! Let's make stuff.

Calling all queer cammers! to join this subreddit to create a promotion and support community for us, since I couldn't fucking find one, and as a pansexual subscribing to like 15 different subs just to find some decent fap material gets old. I doubt I'm the only one.
If it get's out of hand, it'll just become private, but until then, let's share some queer cams and bitch about cb always being down.

If you're the kind of perv that shares your porn with your friends, please do!
However you choose to support me in this art, please stay within your budget! I try, like a good faptender, to cut y'all off when you get crazy. Making your situation worse does not make mine better. Give only if and when you can actually afford to. I'll be here.


TIT pics, fan art, love/hate mail (please no Vogon poetry), job offers, and PP/GC donations

If you find ANY photos or videos of me elsewhere, please send a link and/or copy of the file to me at lexpletive gmail so I can share it here.

PLEASE click that last button to create an account if you're planning to broadcast here. I know I've introduced/inspired a number of performers and the little bit of help would REALLY help. It will NOT share your username with me.