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Thelexmachine's Bio and Free Webcam

Real Name:
Birth Date:
May 23, 1981
Interested In:
Men, Women, Trans, Couples
Nerdworld, EST - US
Last Broadcast:
3 days, 7 hours
English-progressive 1st world, un petit peu Français, body/nonverbal, gibberish, troll, one-handed type and autocorrect
Body Type:
body positive
Smoke / Drink:
Dig stoners. Not a fan of cigarettes or alcohol.
Body Decorations:
3 small tats, tiny gauged ears, rainbow hair
Pics & Videos:
About Me:

Come say hi!

I'm a nerdy, pervy, sapiosexual, polyamorous, hypersexual, ethically slutty qweirdo and I loooooooove being naked with you.

I'm, nursing something like 6 broken hearts and STILL trying to find a proper [quiet] studio space and better wifi to share with you guys, but thanks to you I at least have a room for the winter!!
In 2015 I survived on less than 3k [over 10k in '16 thanks to you! the worst two years financially of my last 20]. I should by all maths, be dead. I'm not. I should be on disability. I'm STILL awaiting the results of my hearing appeal and praying my earnings here don't fuck me. I'm trying to have a plan either way and thank you so much for being a part of the plan.
I started broadcasting here April 1st. Previous to that I had tried [and failed] at camming at the dawn of the millennium, I genuinely wish this place had existed then. Let's wax nostalgic about the 90s internet. BBS and html chats you had to refresh manually, anyone? 

I have several medical diagnoses which I will sometimes discuss and am on the autism spectrum. My stimming behaviors from when I was bitty are part of my health problems today. If I have a bunch of bruises, it's because I run into things and bruise easily, doesn't happen as frequently when I can eat properly. Poor proprioception FTW! I hula hoop/dance for exercise and better balance. I used to be much chubbier so thank you for being kind. Yes I will hoop on cam when I'm in a room with enough space and I love to dance.

FAHQ [frequently asked hot questions]

  1. I don't wear a bra, and nearly everything I do wear is pajamas that don't look like pajamas. My shoes are a US 8.

  2. The total number of people I've pleasured in person is somewhere in the very low triple digits.

  3. I am not married. Not likely to be.

  4. I do not have kids and never will.

  5. I do have multiple loving relationships with consenting open adults. They are as unique and important as any close friendship just with extra rubbins.
    Several of my mods are partners IRL and I am actively looking for couples and queers that are excited to get in front of a cam with me. I am only interested in meeting you in person if you are an already working adult performers, photographers, etc to collaborate with.

  6. I have a few semesters of college [photography and welding being my favorite classes] but no degrees. I have instead worked over 25 shitty entry level jobs between breakdowns and bouts of chronic illness, in attempts to prove that I am not lazy or above demeaning work.
    CB is far more my speed I guess. 

  7. I was inappropriately sexualized as well as exposed to a lot of really quality erotic art at a very early age. Curse, blessing, here we are.

  8. My first sexual experience was with a girl and I have had several female partners. The majority of them though have been with varying types of guys. I like much more than either girls or guys.

  9. My music tastes are pretty broad but I especially love anything you can dance or hump to.

  10. My mental erogenous zones are sex obviously, space and time, the brain, 90s comics (anyone at WW Chicago '98-'00? My lil sketch collection is pretty dope, tbh), illustration, photography, most discussions of art, philosophy, and all kinds of terribly geeky crap.

  11. I like all the adult genitals. Really. Just has to be connected to a stellar brain and I'm probably game. These days, I'm really only looking to further my experience with (DTF) couples, groups and ladies or butts (of whatever sex) preferably on cam/film.

  12. My bush has been this way for a decade and a half. Yes, it's been bald, yes, I could do other things with it, but it's my bush love it, like it, deal or GTFO. I'll continue to shave and trim the way I like. I'll still dye the bush a fun color on cam if I can quit banning all the rudeness so we can actually get to 100k followers, lol.

  13. My hair and nails are one of the oldest parts of my self care routine, again, I'm set in my ways here, make suggestions at your own peril. I almost never wear make-up, and once again that's my prerogative.
  15. My favorite position depends on the person, it's all relative to body shape and fucking ability or style.


Learning gives me a boner. I frequently watch Ted talks or uni lectures while I jerk more often than traditional porn.
I do love to watch cams, 100tk or check the hashtags for #watchu or #freeC2C #C2Cfree to know when i'm watching a group free for my own entertainment.

I have a preference for big brains and weird or unique bodies (if they have or would have made fun of you at school for it, it prob makes you hot to me) a bit more than stereo-typically pretty ones, I guess I have a kink for weirdos and underdogs, go fig.
I have a single true fetish and that is audio/aural. To get off I have to hear my partners moan, groan, grunt, and gasp with obvious pleasure. Let me hear you in a private c2c sometime or email me mp3s of your orgasms!
I orgasm once a day minimum, if you catch it here, it's genuine. Like real world sex, I'm here to get off with you, not for you so this room is a bit different than most. Lurking helps.
I love to hear about other performers you love at appropriate times and I am always looking to make new friends, find good mods, and other qweirdos to help keep me going 'round here.


Wish List:

For you to follow me if you like anything you see here.

Let's see if we can hit 100k within my first year.

A small studio space with high ceilings and fast net access, on a private island with nothing but libraries full of comics. :P ok just the first bit then

or spoil me with level ups

I love to travel as much as possible to be with my partners all over the world now, and occasionally new friends.
Long-term fantasy-dream-date bucket list:

- Queer porn set
- All the sex museums, NY, Miami, SF, Reykjavik, South Korea, Prague
- ComicCon It's a bit late, I really want to attend SDCC in the early aughts, but I'd still love to go once
- DragonCon Also never been though most of my friends have
- Burning man/Wasteland Weekend Same, actually prefer the smaller events, if that's your thing invite me to camp with you!
- Dance music festivals of nearly any kind. Basically if I can camp out dressed like a space tramp I'm in.
- Cannabis Cup
- Nude beaches! Still not had the nuts or funds to make it to one.
- Any huge queer pride festival or adult film industry event

Donate a buck to my travel fund to make even one of these things happen.


Photographers, videographers, MUAs, Illustrators, other broadcasters, I wanna have your art babies! Let's make stuff.

If you're the kind of perv that shares your porn with your friends, please do!
However you choose to support me in this art, please stay within your budget! I try like a good faptender to cut y'all off when you get crazy. Making your situation worse does not make mine better. Give only if and when you can actually afford to. I'll be here.

If you find a video or stills of me online anywhere else,
or have some oldies but goodies, please email a link and/or copy of the file to me at lexpletive gmail so I can share it here.

Help me buy toiletries, socks and lube with gift cards


SEND ME UR TITS and PP/GC donations